Sleep Now in the Fire
by Janus
Summary: Peter's confession on the eve of that fateful night. One shot story. Enjoy!


**Sleep Now in the Fire**

Everyone has a price. This is a fact. I don't care what you say about me, how you look at me, how you think about me. I'm used to scorn and disgust.

But everyone, everywhere, has a price. Mine was survival.

You can't imagine his power. It's unparalleled. Oh, they say he feared Dumbledore, but I saw what he could do first hand. The way they screamed... it was terrifying. Then he came to me with a choice; I could die like them, or I could be branded by the Dark Lord and become a traitor.

What would you do?

It wasn't easy, oh no. I had to act even more pathetic than I normally am. Are you suprised to know that I am aware how you think of me? I know you pity me, you think I am a worthless, talentless nothing. Certainly not the equal of the _great_ James Potter, the _great_ Sirius Black. Even the werewolf wouldn't want to be me.

But that's just fine, because I had no problem being me. I may not get the respect or admiration of the others, but I will survive. I will live to tell the tale. James... he might as well be dead. Sirius can't be long for this world once James is gone, and Remus is doomed to be a drifter. His fate is far crueler than anything the Dark Lord could dream up; living always on the edge of society, never fully trusted even by your closest friends, people always waiting for the next disaster...

So James will soon be dead. That is the point of this letter, isn't it? My confession. Of course, it doesn't matter. Soon the Dark Lord will be unstoppable, the Order will be lost without James and Lily, and Sirius will be the guilty man. I, the rat, the one everyone always sneered at, brought about the downfall of two of the greatest wizards of our age. The victory is not sweet, but it is satisfying. No one will ever again be able to say that I am a nothing, that I don't matter. I will have left my mark.

Funny... in my moment of triumph, when I am finally the most important wizard in the world, I can't bear to look at my confession. What have I done? Why did I betray my friends? The only ones who ever did anything for me are going to be dead, and their blood will be on my hands! I feel sick, and yet...

It's too late. I've already set everything in motion, and to back out now would be suicidal. Both sides would hate me, and the Dark Lord would kill me. Oh James, what have I done? I am so sorry. I've killed Lily, I've killed James and... I've killed Harry. Little innocent Harry will be dead by my hand. I can't stand thinking about it. I have to do something! I have to save the Potters!

No. I can't. I just can't.

I will be the rat. I had no choice; this whole line of events was outside of my control. How could I have known James and Lily would pick me for a secret keeper? What was I supposed to do when the Dark Lord came calling all those years ago? I've been a pawn this whole time. None of this is my fault.

Fate forced me into this position. Voldemort paid my price, and now I must serve him or die.

I am walking through the Valley of Darkness, and there is no one beside me. Whether the world can forgive me doesn't bother me anymore; think what you will.

I am free and in chains. I am a rat and a traitor. I am Peter Pettigrew.

-

"Wormtail! The Dark Lord is coming. I hope you are prepared to kill your friends," sneered the face in the fireplace. Peter looked slowly towards the fireplace. He felt a great emptiness in his stomach, but he knew the dark room would hide his face. He was always hiding.

"I am," Peter said slowly.

"Good. The Dark Lord should be there in any moment."

As if on cue, a voice floated into Peter's head, a soft, deadly hiss. "Come to me, Wormtail. It is time."

A shudder passed through Peter's spine. It was time to go.

Peter took one last look at the paper lying on the table, the words staring at him accusingly. He imagined the headlines for the next day's paper: "Potters Killed, Pettigrew Betrays Wizarding World".

_They won't understand_, thought Peter, staring at his confession to no one in particular a moment longer. Sighing, he flicked his wand and apparated to the waiting Dark Lord.

The paper was consumed by fire. Moments later, it crumbled into harmless ashes.

_Everyone has a price_

-

AN: That's it. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: The HP universe is not mine. I'm not making any money. This is just my playground.


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